The Ugly Truth

PrePost Disclaimer: I've had about 2.5 hours of sleep in the last 32 hours and I don't get to sleep again for another 8+ hours, so don't judge my spelling and grammar in this post, please.

I'm about to dump some real truth on you, so if you're not ready for hard core veracity, leave now.

I love my kids, I do, I swear I love them more than anything else in my life, ever...but right now, I don't like one of them very much, at all. 

My full contact sport of a life has gone from the things we have to do and the accidental bumps/bruises that result (on both kids and us) to living in a constant state of being hit, kicked, pushed, scratched and one attempt at biting. 

More truth -  it is hard as hell to keep your cool.  I mean really, really, grind your teeth, hold your breath, clench your fists and count to like a million, HARD to keep your cool.  And I'm here to tell you that lately, I've lost my 'S' a couple of times...which leads to immediate post-yelling guilt and self deprecating crying.  How could I yell at a little person, you ask?  Well, clearly you don't have one.  They are like brilliant little ninjas...they figure out exactly which of your buttons to push at what time and know exactly how long you can tolerate it and then, they push some more.

I am vehement disbeliever in the term "terrible two's."  They do not exist...(I reserve the right to rescind this statement in about a year) What does exist is something of almost Biblical Proportion.  I have tried to find some quippy little rhyming term or alliteration to use for the 4th year of my child's life (Age 3), but nothing lives up to the actual experience. 

I never ever want to wish time away, especially not when my kids are so little.  But really, if I just had a cage to put him in...I jest, well, mostly.

I'd love to babble on further about how this impacts spousal relationships, but frankly, I've used up all the cognitive energy I have for today...and tomorrow.

But before I totally bring this stream of thought to a close I want to note that whether you love it, hate it or have never heard of it, I have to say I'm kind of glad to have the "power of facebook" at my fingertips.  Through the last few weeks of hell, I've posted asking for advice and support and I've really been pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of support I've received.  Glad to know that A)I'm not alone, B) there is lots of alcohol waiting for me in various parts of the state & country and C) I have some really really great friends...and that's not just because they'll make sure the beer's on ice when I arrive.