If scream-crying was a sport, then I'd say we've had a monumental "game" at our house...nay a tournament lately. If you don't know what scream-crying is, then I suggest putting on the music you hated the most in high school, on repeat, as loud as your Bose system will go, for as long as you can stand it...that will irritate a fraction of the nerve that scream-crying attacks.
I don't know if it's age, lack of sleep, hormones (mine or theirs) or what, but for the past 3 days E V E R Y T H I N G sets my kids off. This morning I put the toothpaste on Logan's toothbrush and 30 minutes later, after Rob held him for 10 minutes, it was like a switch. The "Game" was over- he fell silent and ate breakfast. In what I will refer to as "tournament games," (you know, those that really count) over the past few days it only takes one kid starting the scream cry and with in minutes the other one chimes in. I've tried my best, WE've tried our best to do what the pediatrician recommends and ignore the behavior but we can't. I've tried time out, for me and the kids and nothing works.
H E L P
You know the phrase, Life's a journey, well Parenting is more like a Marine Corps mud run except everything is dirty and you don't know why, the obstacles are harder because you don't understand them and the people who are "winning" are literally half your size. I suggest you plan your attack one step at a time...
Step one - WINE and lots of it. That's really as far as I've gotten into the "step" process, so really if you know step two and beyond, please share.
In a totally separate and random stream of thought...
I like to tell stories; real ones, not fiction. I'd never be good at writing a book because everyone I know would sue me for telling on them...really, I'm not a great writer, I just know a bunch of kooks who do fun/funny stuff and give me "material."
With that said, I've gotten several notes about how much folks are enjoying my blog. "That is great," I say, "Please continue to follow me." I have 4 followers. I don't care if I have 1 or 700, but what I do wonder is how in the world I have 4 followers and yet 70+ people have read several of my blog posts. Who are you people and why am I so interesting? Follow me for Pete sake, I want to know who you are!
Christmas 2013
angels
Christmas 2013
angels
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
The Plan & The Ketchup.
I am so far behind with I want to write that I've decided I need a plan of attack. Rather than irregular lengthy posts, I am striving for regular more concise updates on life. I know, lofty expectations, but if I don't plan it - it won't happen.
So, in the spirit of the "ketchup," (ketchup because last year was messy and ketchup is messier than catch up) here is 2012 the overview:
January 2012 - I was so right! (I love saying that) Maisie arrived and she is just the spunky, vivacious, Giant Personality we expected, but I couldn't possibly have asked for anything different. Logan adjusted well and quickly to having Maisie in the house.
February 2012 - Mom had what we thought was a heart attack and turned out to be an extreme case of Anxiety...AKA a blessing in disguise. While in the hospital the Dr's found that she had lung cancer. Logically, this shouldn't have been a surprise as we all know she's smoked since she was a teen, but realistically it scared the shit out of everyone.
March brought Logan's second Birthday and a round of Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease for Logan, Maisie and myself. That was less than enjoyable. I returned to work from Maternity leave and though it was easier than the first time, it was still super hard to leave Miss M!
April, May and June are a Crazy blur...Rob traveled A LOT! I had a huge work "Thing" going on that caused a great deal of stress (but ended VERY well). Mom started radiation, Maisie started eating, Chrissy was in the throws of wedding planning and I had to pick out a bridesmaid's dress while also working on losing baby weight-not the combo I wanted, but hey, ya do what ya can and let the chips fall where they may.
Summer brought a fresh new outlook on work, the completion of Mom's radiation, Chrissy's Wedding Dress, more travel for Rob. We never took the boat out and only took a few days for vacation. All in all, more than half of 2012 blew by and mostly I just tried to keep up.
In October, Chrissy was married and is now Mrs Matt Long. In November, I became an aunt to the sweetest little peanut...Ryan and Casey's son, Declan. Logan declares regularly that Declan is his buddy and he gets to teach him big boy stuff. Maisie adores him, and I think she thinks he's her live baby doll.
Holidays were another crazy mess as well ALL, and I do mean all, got the noro virus. complete with all the puke, etc you can imagine. 12 of us in all...Chrissy even spent Christmas in the bed at home while we kept her involved via facetime. Barely recovered from that and had Maisie's first birthday followed almost immediately by Logan's 3rd.
So, in a messy nutshell with complete lack of descriptive detail, that was my "ketchup." Now, cross your fingers and wiggle your nose and throw some good luck my way and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to keep up with this thing a little more.
So, in the spirit of the "ketchup," (ketchup because last year was messy and ketchup is messier than catch up) here is 2012 the overview:
January 2012 - I was so right! (I love saying that) Maisie arrived and she is just the spunky, vivacious, Giant Personality we expected, but I couldn't possibly have asked for anything different. Logan adjusted well and quickly to having Maisie in the house.
February 2012 - Mom had what we thought was a heart attack and turned out to be an extreme case of Anxiety...AKA a blessing in disguise. While in the hospital the Dr's found that she had lung cancer. Logically, this shouldn't have been a surprise as we all know she's smoked since she was a teen, but realistically it scared the shit out of everyone.
March brought Logan's second Birthday and a round of Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease for Logan, Maisie and myself. That was less than enjoyable. I returned to work from Maternity leave and though it was easier than the first time, it was still super hard to leave Miss M!
April, May and June are a Crazy blur...Rob traveled A LOT! I had a huge work "Thing" going on that caused a great deal of stress (but ended VERY well). Mom started radiation, Maisie started eating, Chrissy was in the throws of wedding planning and I had to pick out a bridesmaid's dress while also working on losing baby weight-not the combo I wanted, but hey, ya do what ya can and let the chips fall where they may.
Summer brought a fresh new outlook on work, the completion of Mom's radiation, Chrissy's Wedding Dress, more travel for Rob. We never took the boat out and only took a few days for vacation. All in all, more than half of 2012 blew by and mostly I just tried to keep up.
In October, Chrissy was married and is now Mrs Matt Long. In November, I became an aunt to the sweetest little peanut...Ryan and Casey's son, Declan. Logan declares regularly that Declan is his buddy and he gets to teach him big boy stuff. Maisie adores him, and I think she thinks he's her live baby doll.
Holidays were another crazy mess as well ALL, and I do mean all, got the noro virus. complete with all the puke, etc you can imagine. 12 of us in all...Chrissy even spent Christmas in the bed at home while we kept her involved via facetime. Barely recovered from that and had Maisie's first birthday followed almost immediately by Logan's 3rd.
So, in a messy nutshell with complete lack of descriptive detail, that was my "ketchup." Now, cross your fingers and wiggle your nose and throw some good luck my way and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to keep up with this thing a little more.
Monday, March 19, 2012
She's here...and I'm still alive.
10 weeks and 1 day after her arrival, I can grab a moment to catch up on thoughts.
She is amazing! Maisie is sooo much different than Logan! Who knew that eat/sleep/poop/start over could be so different. He would eat and sleep, she eats and if we are lucky, she sleeps. He slept through the night at 6.5 weeks...she sleeps most of the night, but wakes up about 4AM and I have to put her next to me to get her to sleep until a reasonable 5-6AM. He would poop, she has these ridiculously epic bowel movements that require loud and long preparation on her part. Different as night and day!
I was so worried about loving her, but I do love her! I love her just as much as I love Logan...
She is amazing! Maisie is sooo much different than Logan! Who knew that eat/sleep/poop/start over could be so different. He would eat and sleep, she eats and if we are lucky, she sleeps. He slept through the night at 6.5 weeks...she sleeps most of the night, but wakes up about 4AM and I have to put her next to me to get her to sleep until a reasonable 5-6AM. He would poop, she has these ridiculously epic bowel movements that require loud and long preparation on her part. Different as night and day!
I was so worried about loving her, but I do love her! I love her just as much as I love Logan...
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The Countdown
I have 35.5 days left before I meet my baby girl...who finally has a name! Margaret Elizabeth, we will call her Maisie. Margaret and Elizabeth are both family names, and more directly each is a part of mine and Chrissy's given name. So, why this name? Mostly, because I love Maisie...but also because I can tell in-utero that she is going to have all the fire, spunk and drive that Chrissy and I have...God Help Me.
But, enough about her name.
I have just over a month to prepare for Maisie. The house isn't ready, her stuff isn't washed, my stuff isn't washed, she currenlty has nowhere to sleep...AND Christmas is just over a week away. But mostly, I am not ready. I know God will give me all the tools I need for her, just as he did with Logan, but I find myself asking Him how there is enough Love in the world for me to love her the way I do Logan. I know I will. I KNOW I will...but that is because I tell myself I will. He is my angel, my baby and the tiny human who made my heart grow exponentially. How and wehre can more of that kind of love come from?? I am not sure if I am ready to share me with two kids, because I love being 100% Logan's.
But, God has already given this ability to love to my sweet child...he runs around hollering his sisters name. He calls her name at my belly in the morning to wake her up (which is cute now, but won't be when she learns to sleep), and "knocks" on my belly to tell her that he is out there. If that isn't God-like, I don't know what is.
But, enough about her name.
I have just over a month to prepare for Maisie. The house isn't ready, her stuff isn't washed, my stuff isn't washed, she currenlty has nowhere to sleep...AND Christmas is just over a week away. But mostly, I am not ready. I know God will give me all the tools I need for her, just as he did with Logan, but I find myself asking Him how there is enough Love in the world for me to love her the way I do Logan. I know I will. I KNOW I will...but that is because I tell myself I will. He is my angel, my baby and the tiny human who made my heart grow exponentially. How and wehre can more of that kind of love come from?? I am not sure if I am ready to share me with two kids, because I love being 100% Logan's.
But, God has already given this ability to love to my sweet child...he runs around hollering his sisters name. He calls her name at my belly in the morning to wake her up (which is cute now, but won't be when she learns to sleep), and "knocks" on my belly to tell her that he is out there. If that isn't God-like, I don't know what is.
So, it is with great trepidation t hat I say, I am not going to worry. I am just going to countdown to her arrival and anxiously await the Tornado we will call Maisie...
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Every Day I'm Shufflin'
So I'm not that good at titles...shoot me.
I am a working mom.
I wanted that statement to stand alone so everyone has the opportunity to think about what that means...which thus far, is a matter of opinion. Now, I am going to tell you what it really means.
Being a working mommy means that I rarely stop. I get up before the rest of the house and most nights I go to sleep after everyone else. It means that from 8AM-5PM I am expected to act like I am not a mother and from 5PM-8AM, I do my best to act like I don't have responsibilities hanging over my head from work. Being a working mom means that I don't get to see my child's teachers, because we chose a good school over a convenient location, so Daddy drops him off and Grandparents pick him up so, at best, I get the translated version of how my baby is progressing. Being a working mom means that I snap at my husband way to often for not doing his part, when in reality, he does more than other men by leaps and bounds. It means that I resent my stay at home friends, but know that I am a better mommy because I work...that is not to say I am better than them, but that I am a better mommy than I would be if I stayed home...but I still want to stay home.
It also means that I worry...I worry exponentially more than I did before. I worry about all the normal things, will he out live me, when will we have our first broken bone, did we lock the front door/baby gate/fence/freezer/toilet/etc, is the breathing (I still check at least twice a night), the list goes on forever. But, I also have to worry about how he is cared for while I am working...this is particularly cumbersome when he's sick.
Today, my baby might have pink eye, I am not there listening to either A) the soothing words of an MD telling me it's nothing, or B)the specific directions the MD is giving regarding how to handle pink eye (again, I rely on translation). No, today I am sitting at my desk waiting on a conference call, because I am a working mommy.
But at 5 O'clock I will change hats and love and care for my angel in every way possible until the cows come home...or until my alarm goes off tomorrow morning when I start the whole process over and I have to trust someone else to care for him while I work for his future.
...and in between all of these things, I might do laundry, feed the dogs, make a bed, clean the dishes...
I am a working mom.
I wanted that statement to stand alone so everyone has the opportunity to think about what that means...which thus far, is a matter of opinion. Now, I am going to tell you what it really means.
Being a working mommy means that I rarely stop. I get up before the rest of the house and most nights I go to sleep after everyone else. It means that from 8AM-5PM I am expected to act like I am not a mother and from 5PM-8AM, I do my best to act like I don't have responsibilities hanging over my head from work. Being a working mom means that I don't get to see my child's teachers, because we chose a good school over a convenient location, so Daddy drops him off and Grandparents pick him up so, at best, I get the translated version of how my baby is progressing. Being a working mom means that I snap at my husband way to often for not doing his part, when in reality, he does more than other men by leaps and bounds. It means that I resent my stay at home friends, but know that I am a better mommy because I work...that is not to say I am better than them, but that I am a better mommy than I would be if I stayed home...but I still want to stay home.
It also means that I worry...I worry exponentially more than I did before. I worry about all the normal things, will he out live me, when will we have our first broken bone, did we lock the front door/baby gate/fence/freezer/toilet/etc, is the breathing (I still check at least twice a night), the list goes on forever. But, I also have to worry about how he is cared for while I am working...this is particularly cumbersome when he's sick.
Today, my baby might have pink eye, I am not there listening to either A) the soothing words of an MD telling me it's nothing, or B)the specific directions the MD is giving regarding how to handle pink eye (again, I rely on translation). No, today I am sitting at my desk waiting on a conference call, because I am a working mommy.
But at 5 O'clock I will change hats and love and care for my angel in every way possible until the cows come home...or until my alarm goes off tomorrow morning when I start the whole process over and I have to trust someone else to care for him while I work for his future.
...and in between all of these things, I might do laundry, feed the dogs, make a bed, clean the dishes...
Thursday, April 21, 2011
April 21, 2011 - David "Dampa" Burr is 90 today
I love Spring! It is my favorite time of year! And Easter is my favorite holiday. Everything has a new beginning.
Today is Dampa's 90th birthday...I can't believe he's 90! He is a big part of the reason I feel so connected to Spring time. Growing up Dampa took Chrissy and I on walks around the WFU campus, and every time we passed a vine of morning glories he would say, "Morning, Glory!" and mean it! Every one of God's creations deserves a heartfelt greeting in the morning, and that is just what they got. To this day, when I see a morning glory, I tell her hello, and I think she smiles back at me.
Dampa is a retired Presbyterian minister. He never pushed us to do more at church, but he always made sure we knew our bible stories and that we took time to think about God. I am a Christian, I believe in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, but on a day-to-day basis I find myself to be more faithful than religious. I find more inspiration from God's earthly creations than I do from a church pew. What better time of year to be Faithful than Easter...it's easy to believe in God, and to believe in the birth of Jesus...but to believe he was crucified to death and 3 days later was Risen from the dead...that, my friends, takes FAITH!
Every day I wake up and have Faith that God watched over my son during the night so that I could sleep. (believe you me, without faith, no parent would ever sleep...we would hover over a crib all night watching to make sure our child took one breath right after the next) Every day I have Faith that God will see me safely to work and home again. Every day I have Faith that God will help me be the best parent I can be. Every day I have Faith.
Our parents, grandparents, siblings and friends all shape us into the people we become. Dampa played the biggest role in shaping my life as a Christian. Today is his 90th birthday. Today I will celebrate Dampa, this weekend I will celebrate the Rise of Jesus Christ from the dead. All the while, I have Faith that my son will have some of these same influences in his life and grow up to be a strong and Faithful Christian with amazing people to look up to just as I have.
Today is Dampa's 90th birthday...I can't believe he's 90! He is a big part of the reason I feel so connected to Spring time. Growing up Dampa took Chrissy and I on walks around the WFU campus, and every time we passed a vine of morning glories he would say, "Morning, Glory!" and mean it! Every one of God's creations deserves a heartfelt greeting in the morning, and that is just what they got. To this day, when I see a morning glory, I tell her hello, and I think she smiles back at me.
Dampa is a retired Presbyterian minister. He never pushed us to do more at church, but he always made sure we knew our bible stories and that we took time to think about God. I am a Christian, I believe in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, but on a day-to-day basis I find myself to be more faithful than religious. I find more inspiration from God's earthly creations than I do from a church pew. What better time of year to be Faithful than Easter...it's easy to believe in God, and to believe in the birth of Jesus...but to believe he was crucified to death and 3 days later was Risen from the dead...that, my friends, takes FAITH!
Every day I wake up and have Faith that God watched over my son during the night so that I could sleep. (believe you me, without faith, no parent would ever sleep...we would hover over a crib all night watching to make sure our child took one breath right after the next) Every day I have Faith that God will see me safely to work and home again. Every day I have Faith that God will help me be the best parent I can be. Every day I have Faith.
Our parents, grandparents, siblings and friends all shape us into the people we become. Dampa played the biggest role in shaping my life as a Christian. Today is his 90th birthday. Today I will celebrate Dampa, this weekend I will celebrate the Rise of Jesus Christ from the dead. All the while, I have Faith that my son will have some of these same influences in his life and grow up to be a strong and Faithful Christian with amazing people to look up to just as I have.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Frustration-my short but deep thought for the day
I am a talker, and I sense that my child will be too. Logan loves to babble. When he wakes up from a nap, and before we go get him from his crib, he will lay in there forever just talking to his bunny or pointing at things in the room and discussing them with himself...it's so great to listen to!
Lately, he has taken to sudden and seemingly unexplainable meltdowns...a lot of them happen with Rob, who I know is easily discouraged and thinks his son hates him. As a high anxiety person myself, I try to stay calm during these episodes, though internally that doesn't always happen. And then one day it dawned on me...he's frustrated. Try as he might to tell us something, we just aren't getting his message. Ball, banana, baby, balloon...all items he is familiar with and all words that currently sound the same coming out of his mouth. He wants something, he tells us, and we do nothing...or it seems like nothing to him...and then the screaming begins. I am not talking about a loud cry, I am talking about a scream that affords me a better look inside of his mouth than any Dr is ever going to get during a routine exam. I think I can see China in there! And his tongue just quivers as hard as it possibly can. I feel so bad for the little booger!
So here I am, in a house with two frustrated boys. One frustrated because I can't understand him and the other frustrated because he takes the meltdown personally. Who ever said men aren't sensitive?
Lately, he has taken to sudden and seemingly unexplainable meltdowns...a lot of them happen with Rob, who I know is easily discouraged and thinks his son hates him. As a high anxiety person myself, I try to stay calm during these episodes, though internally that doesn't always happen. And then one day it dawned on me...he's frustrated. Try as he might to tell us something, we just aren't getting his message. Ball, banana, baby, balloon...all items he is familiar with and all words that currently sound the same coming out of his mouth. He wants something, he tells us, and we do nothing...or it seems like nothing to him...and then the screaming begins. I am not talking about a loud cry, I am talking about a scream that affords me a better look inside of his mouth than any Dr is ever going to get during a routine exam. I think I can see China in there! And his tongue just quivers as hard as it possibly can. I feel so bad for the little booger!
So here I am, in a house with two frustrated boys. One frustrated because I can't understand him and the other frustrated because he takes the meltdown personally. Who ever said men aren't sensitive?
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